Family divided as woman refuses to name baby after late husband despite promise
A woman promised she would name her baby after her late husband, who died after contracting the coronavirus, but changed her mind as she felt like that would be living in the past
A family are divided after a woman refused to name her baby after her late husband – despite promising initially that she would.
Taking to Reddit, the woman shared her story – saying that she had wanted to honour her husband who died after the baby was conceived.
She had promised to name the baby after him, but then when her son arrived she changed her mind as she felt like she was living in the past.
Sharing her story anonymously, the woman said: “I lost my husband due to covid when I was about three months pregnant. After he died my mother-in-law thought it would be a great idea to name the baby after him if it was a boy.
“I agreed with it at the time because I was just so overwhelmed with emotion. She said it would be like he’s still there in a way.
“When my son got here, even though I still wanted to honour him, I’m not so sure I wanted to name the baby after my husband. I feel like that’s just sticking to the past, and that my baby should be his own person. So I gave him a different name on his birth certificate.”
The woman said that after her baby arrived, she announced his name on Facebook and soon after her mother-in-law was in contact.
She continued: “She called me a few hours later, asking why I had broken the promise. I told her my reasoning, and that I just wanted to move on in a healthy way.
“Now, she didn’t yell at me. But she did say how disrespectful it was to my husband to not include him in my son’s life in some way.
“She also brought up the fact that I had not even told her or his extended family that I was changing my mind. I told her personally that I felt like I didn’t need to, as she was just my mother-in-law, not my husband.
“That’s when she raised her voice. Said she had been waiting all this time to meet her grandson and now she doesn’t even want to see him. I said that was fine and hung up. I do feel bad that I didn’t honour the promise but I feel like I don’t owe her or anyone anything.”
After sharing her story online, other Reddit users came forward to say that the woman had done nothing wrong and that it was her choice what she named her son – but could have handled the situation differently.
One said: “I think your mother-in-law was wrong to try to influence your choice of name, and I think you were wrong not to let her know privately that you had changed your mind instead of letting her find out on Facebook.
“I hope she will change her mind about meeting her grandson, and when she does I hope you will be kind. She loved her baby just like you love yours.”
While a second user said: “I feel like your husband’s family is trying to treat your son as a replacement for your dead husband and that’s not fair to the child – but, she is also grieving.
“Not telling her about your decision to name him something different and telling her she’s ‘just’ your mother in law was probably extremely hurtful.
“Your child is also her son’s child. She doesn’t have the right to tell you what to name him, and you had no obligation to tell her about your decision, but it would have been the courteous thing to do so she wasn’t blindsided.”